I'm trying to get a meeting with the creator of Facebook to make some changes to these relationship statuses. Single, ok...Married, Divorced, Widowed, fair enough...Open Relationship, I'll let that one slide we're all grown. The only status I have a problem with is the "it's complicated" one. I'm a woman who pays attention to and respects details. So naturally, if someone was to say they were in a relationship and it was "complicated", I'm going to wanna know how. So I've come up with the following relationship statuses that further explain what a "complicated" relationship is and I plan on submitting them to Mark Zuckerberg for approval.
Relationship Status: I'm a ho. [this one is self explanatory and let's the reader know off the top that you aren't necessarily looking to get booed up. You're basically looking for someone to perform ho-like activities with.]
Relationship Status: I like him...he likes me, but we enjoy playing these high school games. [this tells the reader that you're a flirt, so don't look for anything past a few weeks of sexy phone calls and text messages, one or two dates, and if you're lucky, a little spooning, but no forking.]
Relationship Status: Single but I screw someone regularly, we just haven't made it official yet.
Relationship Status: In a relationship with my vibrator. [for the woman who doesn't have the time or patience to deal with the problems that come along with most dicks. This status tells the reader that if they're looking for sex, they can seek it elsewhere because she has that part of the program covered.]
Relationship Status: Married, but I sleep around. [For the non-exclusive cheater. They don't care who they fuckin' as long as it's not their spouse.]
Relationship Status: Married to <~insert spouse's name and hyperlink here~> but I'm in a relationship with <~insert mistress' name and hyperlink here~> [this is for the exclusive cheater and woman who's proud of her jumpoff status.]
Relationship Status: In a relationship with the man who's married to <~insert wife's name here~> [again, this one is for the jumpoff who knows how to play her position.]
If anyone knows how I can get in touch with Mr. Zuckerberg, inbox me.
Relationship Status: I'm a ho. [this one is self explanatory and let's the reader know off the top that you aren't necessarily looking to get booed up. You're basically looking for someone to perform ho-like activities with.]
Relationship Status: I like him...he likes me, but we enjoy playing these high school games. [this tells the reader that you're a flirt, so don't look for anything past a few weeks of sexy phone calls and text messages, one or two dates, and if you're lucky, a little spooning, but no forking.]
Relationship Status: Single but I screw someone regularly, we just haven't made it official yet.
Relationship Status: In a relationship with my vibrator. [for the woman who doesn't have the time or patience to deal with the problems that come along with most dicks. This status tells the reader that if they're looking for sex, they can seek it elsewhere because she has that part of the program covered.]
Relationship Status: Married, but I sleep around. [For the non-exclusive cheater. They don't care who they fuckin' as long as it's not their spouse.]
Relationship Status: Married to <~insert spouse's name and hyperlink here~> but I'm in a relationship with <~insert mistress' name and hyperlink here~> [this is for the exclusive cheater and woman who's proud of her jumpoff status.]
Relationship Status: In a relationship with the man who's married to <~insert wife's name here~> [again, this one is for the jumpoff who knows how to play her position.]
If anyone knows how I can get in touch with Mr. Zuckerberg, inbox me.
lol
ReplyDeletelol@ ho-like activities can you elaborate?
ReplyDeletefor the definition of ho-like activities...consult your nearest ho.
ReplyDelete