For Mature Audiences Only

DISCLAIMER: Due to excessive use of the words "penis" and "dick" and other lewd and lascivious terminology, the following blog is rated R. If you are under the age of 18 or you possess the maturity level of a person under the age of 18, STOP HERE!! Keep in mind that the following blog is written purely in a comedic sense. Please do not take offense to anything written here. If you wish to continue, read on and enjoy.









SHIT YOU SHOULD ALREADY KNOW:
Chapter 3: The Difference Between Penis and Dick

I bet y'all didn't know that there was a difference between penis and dick...YEP!! And I'm here to break down the difference between the two, and their categories.

What is penis? Penis is ok. If you were to compare it to dick, penis would be a Red Lobster, at best. Where as dick would be Ruth Chris. Penis only does what it was created for, intercourse and procreation. Nothing less, and most definitely nothing more. Think about it...have you ever heard a man bragging about having some "good PENIS"? NO! He always says what? "Girl, I got that good dick."


THE 3 CATEGORIES OF PENIS:

*What-Is-This?! Penis- this type of penis serves absolutely NO purpose. This is the type of sex where you just stare at the ceiling and wonder how you got yourself into this horrendous predicament. The only positive thing about this type of penis is that it's usually done in 10 minutes or less.

*Blah Penis- The owner of blah penis almost always thinks he's doing the absolute greatest job ever. If you just really want some, then you'll lay there taking it and wish on everything that you cum and he does so in a hurry. On the flip side, if you aren't desperate you'll tell him to get up so you can go on about your business.

*I Can't Believe It's Not Dick Penis- this type of penis will surprise you and give the performance of good dick. The only thing that keeps it from being called dick is that this type of penis is not consistent and often falls back into the category of "Blah Penis". Therefore, it can never "rise" to dick status (pun intended).



Now, let's talk about the categories of dick. The best thing about dick is there's a variety.



*Get Right Dick- this type of dick is tried and true. Its guaranteed to give you at least one or two sexual eruptions.

*Gangsta Dick- gangsta dick will start off nice, but it does NOT play. Only deal with this type of dick if you have health insurance, because there's a chance that you'll get hemmed up, choked, or even come close to passing out. Basically, if you come out feeling like you were just in a fight and need medical attention, you've more than likely experienced Gangsta Dick.

*Euphoria Dick- makes you feel extremely silly and bubbly. Similar to the feeling you get after smoking weed(or so I've heard). You are happy and satisfied and feel all your stress melting away.

*Chipotle Dick- this type does the perfect mix of everything. This is the kind where you get the proper freak down and get up feeling refreshed and lucky to have a vagina. The down-side to this type is that it is highly addictive. So if you can't get the chipotle dick on lockdown and are likely to go into stalker mode, then I suggest you leave chipotle dick alone.



So, those are the differences. I hope you learned something, or at least got a good laugh. Ladies, go gauge the kind you've had. Fellas, go ask someone to gauge the type you are. Because I would hate for you to be out there thinking you have that Chipotle Dick when in actuality you possess Blah Penis. <*~BLANKSTARE~*>