Day 2: My First Love

I would love to be able to sit here and say that my first love was a whirl wind romance with a Prince Charming who swept me off my feet and rode me off into the sunset on his magical white horse and he wifed me up, we had 2 1/2 kids and a dog, and lived happily ever after in our 8 bedroom mansion...whew! But if I said all that it'd be a big fat overweight lie.

Let me break it down for y'all so it can consistently and forever be broke...My first love turned out to be the biggest ain't shit nigga to ever stroll the streets of "Aintshitniggaville". I should've seen the signs on the road to disaster, but like every other heartbroken woman, I ignored them all. And trust me, there were plenty.

SIGN #1:

I met him at work. He didn't work there ( I would later learn he wasn't a big fan of working period). He was playing basketball and I have this switch in me that draws me to the athletic type. He approached me with some bullshit like "you not gone leave here without giving me your number are you?" And me being the complete sap that I am...fell for that shit and I fell HARD. I Started giggling like a 12 year old school girl talking to her schoolgirl crush. Ugh! It was sickening now that I think about it. So yea...I gave up the digits.

LESSON:

*don't date people you meet on the job...cause if it doesn't work out, there's a chance you may run into them on your job. And drama on your job is not cute.

SIGN #2:

so we chatted on the phone a few times and I can't remember if it was before or after Christmas (I just know the holidays were in progress) he invited hisself over to my house. Yup...he hit me with the "I'm coming over, let's watch a movie" line. And apparently, "let's watch a movie" translates to "I want the draws". But here's the kicker, I had to go pick his carless (that's not a typo...this nigga had no wheels) ass up. I was young (not really, but that's the excuse I'm gonna roll with) and he was cute and a charmer, lethal combination. He could've talked me into robbing a bank with him and I wouldve been strapping up and putting my mask on. Anywho, I went and picked his ass up and had a GOOD time...don't judge me, IM GROWN!

LESSON:

* they say "no glove no love" eff that! I say "no car no love". You'll end up being a muhfuckas permanent ride...trust me, I know. Been there done that. Now, I picks up noone! You ain't got a ride...catch a bus nigga, I'll meet you there. And none of that subliminal "let's watch a movie" crap. If you tryin to seal the deal, say that!

SIGN #3:

we "dated" (and I use that term loosely, looser than prostitute pussy) for about three years. Little did I know, while I was in an exclusive relationship, this scud bucket was in an open relationship without letting me in on the secret. Yup, he was out there doing what and who the hell he wanted and I was sittin at hone twirling my thumbs, head over heels for his trifling ass. Doing shit I have vowed to never do for another muhfucka unless he's my husband. And maybe not even for my husband. I let the shit go on for three years when I knew after the first month it wasn't going anywhere. But that's what "Love" will do to ya. Have ya out there lookin like a broke down crackhead for a smut pony that doesn't appreciate it.

LESSON:

*stop giving your all to muhfuckas who don't deserve two seconds of your daydream time.



So in a nutshell, that's the story behind my first love. I can honestly say that I no longer love him. I don't believe in all that " I love you but I'm not in love" bullshit. At least not when it comes to him. There was a time when I loved his filthy underwear but now if I saw him on fire I wouldn't stop to piss on him. And sadly, I haven't loved another since. He has me feeling real ill about loving anybody and I haven't met a nigga yet that's worth risking my heart for. Maybe one day...